what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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