i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Randomize
