My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
