It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
