Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
