I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
