I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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