Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
