He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
