The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
