She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize