I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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