Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
