I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
