sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
