But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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