he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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