I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize