Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
