You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
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This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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