just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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