Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
