I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
