we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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