why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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