just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
