At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
and you fell through a lawn chair
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
