As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
