I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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