I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
