fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
