I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
