i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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