I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
