it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
