I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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