All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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