so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
