from now on my penis is your penis
i was born a porn star she said
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
