Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.

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  (816): if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin. http://tfl.nu/cu5c
  Replies (83) Good night (4703) Bad night (749)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

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  (225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control. http://tfl.nu/aw3o
  Replies (36) Good night (6351) Bad night (912)
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  (831): View more from California

  i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3

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  (831): i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3 http://tfl.nu/5ewa
  Replies (22) Good night (5624) Bad night (780)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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  (312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng
  Replies (19) Good night (8170) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college

  (516): View more from New York

  is she hot?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  She is now

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  (802): My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college (516): is she hot? (802): She is now http://tfl.nu/4xoq
  Replies (34) Good night (9150) Bad night (846)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?

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  (321): I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad? http://tfl.nu/p7vn
  Replies (39) Good night (803) Bad night (4622)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.

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  (239): yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day. http://tfl.nu/xjz6
  Replies (13) Good night (4813) Bad night (633)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He probs deserved it.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Every good man does.

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  (317): I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell. (260): He probs deserved it. (317): Every good man does. http://tfl.nu/4ma5
  Replies (32) Good night (5689) Bad night (1861)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.

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  (678): Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina. http://tfl.nu/qhn3
  Replies (11) Good night (795) Bad night (3627)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?

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  (207): remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are? http://tfl.nu/u6le
  Replies (6) Good night (2407) Bad night (733)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.

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  (567): I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it. http://tfl.nu/gm4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1549) Bad night (503)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.

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  (919): It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake. http://tfl.nu/4cm4
  Replies (9) Good night (484) Bad night (1146)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.

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  (937): pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it. http://tfl.nu/fw0p
  Replies (6) Good night (1145) Bad night (429)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.

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  (678): You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes. http://tfl.nu/g0jp
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (704)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.

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  (707): I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over. http://tfl.nu/3xvt
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (324)

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