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• (415): View more from California

  ad ew i am wasted whats my problem

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.

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• (626): View more from California

  HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.

  (323): View more from California

  How did you leave without pants?

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