Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success