I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .