So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real