So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
