he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail