you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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