so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
