Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
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We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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