it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
