speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
