We named our party play list daddy issues
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
