whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
