I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
