Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
