I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My ass is underappreciated
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
