seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
