I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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