Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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