im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
