I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
