I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
