I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
