I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize