remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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