Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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