32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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