Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dicks are not precious.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize