Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
