I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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