Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
this boner is exhausting
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I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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