You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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